Dual Sex Therapy
Sexuality is an important component of existence, a basic human need and a non trivial factor in assuring holistic health and wellness. Passion drives all humans. Understanding human sexuality, it’s mandates, requisites and preferences is essential to attain fulfilling sexual experiences. Sexuality isn’t a taboo as once was deemed. It is a matter of deliberate choice and making the right choice for oneself is always prudent. A blend of the appropriate desire to please and the incessant will to satisfy; over and above the wish to experience pleasure oneself drives the sensual soul. Sex therapy is aimed at increasing personal and interpersonal awareness of self as well as the other’s needs. Each participant is encouraged to focus on their own varied sensual experience rather than to see physical satisfaction as the sole goal of a sexual encounters. This enriches the self as well as the relationship.
Principles of therapy
While sexuality and sensuality seem to be natural and instinctive, there are nonetheless rules and guidelines to mend connects that have been tarnished. Sex therapy is essentially a form of behavior modification. Impaired sexual satisfaction primarily stems from perceived inadequacies, emotional distractions and deep rooted anxieties. These imprint on the vulnerable mind and cause fears become conditioned. This implies that impaired sexuality is learned and practiced and reinforced; and to correct it these faulty styles have to be unlearned,diverted away from and the appropriate techniques need to be relearned. A willingness to identify the deep seated trouble, accept it and take deliberate steps is the premise of sex therapies.
Process of Therapy
This process is known as ‘dual’ as both partners come forward for inducing self change. The process involves individual sessions with each partner with a detailed assessment of personal points of view over the perceived problem. Subsequently the therapist delves into the real or rather perceived inadequacies of the self and the partner. All the discussion is kept confidential even though sessions are alternated between the couple. Through this exercise the therapist identifies the turmoil and its perceived cause and it’s specific impact on the sexual experience on the couple. Techniques targeted at diminishing expectations and augmenting pleasure for the other are provided. Fulfilling sexual experiences are considered to be an extension of love, thus the non physical attraction component is stressed upon in great detail.
There is a multitude of techniques that appeal to different individuals based on the core issues they are dealing with. Some of these include:
- Cognitive therapy: This entails reappraisals of the relationship and what role each of the partners have to play in the relationship dyad to keep each other happy.
- Behavior therapy: This entails the assessment and management of negative emotional experiences that have been clubbed with sexuality influencing it negatively.
- Rationally emotive therapy (REBT): This helps to sort differences in the partners and make them more accepting of the others’ traits and preferences.
- Transactional analysis: This allows to gauge the ego states in each of the partners and match the strokes they give one another to attain better outcomes.
- Sensate focus: This is a technique that allows the partners to focus on their sensory perceptive modalities and ‘feel their partners without having intercourse.
- Sex therapy: This involves the hands on tips and techniques for bettering the sexual encounter using sensate focus and learning newer interesting techniques.
Denial of a problem is the single most largest hindrance in the path of self growth. Years may pass before one accepts that sexual inadequacy can be instrumental in disruption of relationships, reduction of emotional intimacy as well as general frustration and irritability. Help can only benefit. Never hesitate to reach out to a helping hand when needed. Like all basic needs, unless this one is fulfilled, we cannot attain greater and more desirable heights.